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Cats vs Dogs | The Great Escape and Subsequent Humiliation

Cats vs Dogs – Indoor Cats Became Outdoor Cats

The Dutch Man left the door open and Cosmo and I saw our chance to finally be outdoor cats.  Mother insists that it’s not safe, but it was gorgeous outside and there were fields of green grass begging for my paws to sink in.  First I went out, then Cosmo followed.  “God Speed, My Friend,” I said and then I turned and went on my way.  It was heaven.  Mother didn’t even notice that we had made our escape.  Of course The Dutch Man didn’t notice.  I bet he’d notice poop in his shoe.

But I digress.

I had a lovely time smelling the smells, sinking in to the ground, reveling in being a outdoor cat when I got a little hungry.  And thirsty.  Fortunately I heard Mother’s voice and crawled out from beneath the bush to greet her.  The shock on her face was classic.  “Jaffrey,” she said, as if the neighborhood is teaming with black and white tuxedo cats.  I was about to say this when I noticed that she wasn’t alone.  Those damn heathens were with her.

They about gave me a heart attack, forcing me, an indoor cat with a bit of junk in the trunk, to run for dear life for fear of being licked to death.  They were rounded up and removed and The Dutch Man politely helped me from the bush I was in.  How humiliating.  When I realized that the dogs weren’t around, I decided that I may as well take a moment to get one in.  I made the mistake of vocalizing my glee at the idea of sinking a claw into The Dutch Man and he reacted quickly, releasing me.  I darted beneath the house to sit guard with Cosmo, who never came out.

Several hours later, Mother had convinced me to come out.  Cosmo, the traitor, came out willingly after being coaxed by treats.  He was inside relaxing when I came in, covered in cobwebs and pissed off.

There will be another day.


  1. Hello!

    This is such a cute post and photo. Love this line…”an indoor cat with a bit of junk in the trunk, to run for dear life…” Just signed up for your blog and really enjoy the content. Lots of interesting tips and articles.

    Laura Bailey
    Loving Linus, This Blessing Bites:
    When a loving couple who knows nothing about dogs adopts a dog who knows nothing about love.

    • Thanks, Laura
      Excited to have you as a reader. My blog is supposed to be focused on dogs, but I love watching their interaction with our cats and thought it would be fun to give them a column. In my head, Jaffrey is this polished, sophisticated cat. Cosmo is like the Seinfeld character, Cosmo Kramer (who he was named for).

      Thanks for the comment.


  2. Adorable! I do think you should do a series with the cats more often :)

    • Thanks, Susan – I’m trying to do it every Monday. It’s fun and I already have my post for next week. It’s short and sweet :)

      Thanks so much for your comments. I’ll keep it going :)

  3. That’s too funny!!! I think cats are the most interesting creatures on earth. I wish so many times that my cats could speak to me!! Quick story – my indoor cat Sissy made a big escape one day. She was gone for 21 days and I probably spent $2,000 trying to get her back, including hiring a tracking dog (twice), speaking to a Cat Profiler (yes, they exist) tried to get on the local news but they wouldn’t go for it, finally spoke to a pet psychic who made her come home the next day!!! Some of us will do whatever it takes….I’ll be your newest follower and can’t wait til mondays!!!

    • I am so there with you! Did the psychic mention why the cat was gone for so long? Just an adventure? Lost? I’m having a blast writing our cats’ column – they are so funny, expressive, and people are really getting a kick out of the addition.


      • She said that Sissy was pissed off that my son’s dog Buckley had moved in with us. She said that he was calling her a twirp and she didn’t like it. This was about the time when I wondered what the heck have I done! But regardless, I told her to tell Sissy that she needed to get her butt home and that she needs to come through the Texas flag. We had old timey basement bilco doors on our house in PA and I had painted them like the Texas flag. They were left open since she went missing so that she could come in and go through a one way cat door into the finished part of the basement. She was in the basement the next day. I’m just sayin……

        • Love it! Thanks for sharing!

  4. What is that cat thinking in the picture? Is she ploting to take over the world? Again?

    • My cats are evil. They torment the dogs all the time and it’s hilarious. They love me and are smaller than the dogs so I let is slide. It’s my give to them in exchange for bring three drooly dogs into the house.


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