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Don’t let the puppy eyes fool you.  Blue is a dastardly dope who eats our food!

Cats vs Dogs

Mother was so sad when Riley passed away.  I actually liked that little dog, because she respected the pecking order in our house, never chasing us, never coming upstairs.  When Mother brought home Blue, part of me thought “you’ve got to be kidding me!” and then I saw how happy Mother was and I decided to give Blue a chance.

One swipe at his cute little nose should have been enough to let him know that the cats are not to be messed with and it did work at first.  For about a week.  Now, a couple months later, he’s a little terror and recently he started crossing the line and eating our yummy food.

Mother recently introduced the family to a new food.  Halo Pets is all the rage and everyone is very happy.  No one more happy than I am and apparently that little freak Blue.

He’s not supposed to come up the stairs, that’s our domain.  Mother put a baby gate at the top of the stairs to provide us with peace and quiet.  It does a great job keeping the big dogs down the stairs.  Chubby McChubChub (although she has lost weight) can’t fit through the narrow space Mother and The Dutch Man squeeze through.  Rodrigo, ha ha ha, is terrified of baby gates and brooms.  If I could manage to carry a baby gate as a shield and a broom stick as a sword, that little jerk wouldn’t come near me!  Ha!

But I digress.

Mother and The Dutch Man think Blue is soooo cute.  But let me tell you that he is nothing close to cute.  In fact, I believe that he’s hideous.

  • He’s hideous when he stomps up the stairs with the huge paws, smiling that toothy smile even though Mother distinctly told him to “stay.”  Only I should be allowed to ignore her piddly orders.
  • He’s hideous when he crossed the threshold to our room, actually walking over me, still smiling that doofus grin.
  • He’s hideous as he eats our yummy, super smelly (hmmmmm), mushy food (Mother calls it Spot’s Stew).
  • And he’s hideous when those huge paws take him down the hall so that he can announce himself loudly to Mother.

Mother looks at these moments as training opportunities; here’s a taste of her training…

Blue – “woof woof woof”

Mother – “Blue, what are you doing upstairs?  You’re not supposed to be upstairs, Bubby”

Blue – “woof woof woof”

Mother – “You’re a naughty boy, aren’t you? Who’s a naughty boy?”

Blue – “woof woof woof”

Mother – ” Did you eat the kitty food?  Who’s a naughty boy?”

Bang up job she’s doing there, right?  She redeems herself when she cracks open another can of that yummy stew.  I can’t stay mad at Mother for too long.  But that little brat is toast!

Thank you for reading,



Learn more about cat nutrition and cat care on Catcentric.org

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