photo: carterse
I recently received an email on LinkedIn from a dog trainer who wanted to correct my use of the term pack…
Dear Kimberly, You referred to your dogs as members of a pack. Please note: Dogs are scavengers and have no need for a pack or alpha leader, but live and survive among other dogs and humans through assimilation. Don’t believe me…check out any National Geographic presentation regarding village life in Africa or Asia and you will note dogs milling about but not with each other. If they formed a pack they would be a threat to people and livestock. We all need to consciously work toward undoing the many myths regarding dog behavior or training. :) Thank you
My Response…
Thank you for the email,
When I refer to my family as a pack, it’s a term of endearment. This pack includes me and my boyfriend, our dogs, our cats, and our friends. We also use the terms “crew” “brood” and “gang.” When I use the word, I’m not making a comment towards the origin of the canine species, which training or behavior methods are right or wrong, nor am I trying to educate anyone.
It’s simply a term of endearment.
I’m not sure what you were reading; but I apologize that you took offense and will remove myself from your contacts, because I’m certain that I will offend you more in the future. I’m just a happy go lucky dog parent who loves to write about her dogs and share with other dog lovers.
Best of luck with your business in 2013!
Kimberly
I didn’t think much of it at first, but then I thought of my goals with Keep the Tail Wagging…
To inspire conversation between dog lovers that brings about education and community, that will help all of us raise happier, healthier dogs.
I don’t want to alienate people so I went to my awesome followers on Facebook to ask them about the term “pack” when we refer to our dog family. An overwhelming majority, over 100 responses, were fine with it, but did understand that there are some people who are hypertensive to the term, because they’re concerned that it encourages a negative perception of our dogs.
I wasn’t willing to let my blog post end with “my fans like it, so I’m rubber, you’re glue,” because this is a fantastic opportunity for us all to learn something new and I hope it inspires a great discussion.
I always describe a “pack” as a family with order and structure. Dogs like structure. They are happier and calmer when they know the roles of their family member. Specifically, they like to know where they stand in the lineup. Am I a leader or a follower? Who do I look to when I need to know what to do? Every pack needs a leader, just like a family. Who is in charge? Who makes the rules and sets the boundaries? None of this has to be harsh. When a Dad sets rules for his kids, he is loving them. A pack leader is calm, secure and well respected. He doesn’t have to raise his voice or be aggressive.
~ Dean Miller, The Dog Counselor
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Alpha theories say that handlers should establish themselves as pack leaders, by doing things such as walking in front of their dogs at all times and eating first at meal times. While it’s a good idea to be the leader of one’s household, as opposed to letting one’s dog run the show, there are better ways to achieve this than forcing a dog to follow rigid and arbitrary rules.
~ Sujatha Ramakrishna, M.D., Raising Kids Who Love Animals
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For me, it boils down to semantics. I view “alpha” as simply meaning the one in charge and “pack” as meaning a family. I view the leader (or owner) as the one that makes sure all of the followers (or family) never have to worry about anything. I love my dogs more then anything and as their leader it is my responsibility to teach them what I expect from them with basic training. Basic training is about building a common language between dog and human to help facilitate communication and understanding.
However, if “alpha” or “pack leader” is defined as the boss and being the boss is defined as bullying with fear or intimidation, then yes these terms are offensive. Fear and intimidation have no place in the relationship between owner and dog.
~ David Cugno, David Cugno’s Canine Center
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That being said, I’m taking back the terms Pack and Alpha and redefining them from the point of view of a dog mom.
Pack
A family structure that includes humans, canines, felines and/or other creatures that is structured in a manner to define a leader, the fur parent(s), and provides all family members with a sense of purpose, security, and love.
Pack Walk
A group of families come together to walk their dogs, providing a great fitness and socialization opportunity for the dogs and humans.
Alpha
A tongue in cheek term used to refer to the fur parent(s) of a dog, cat or other pet. The Alpha is the caretaker and provider and takes the lead in teaching his or her pack (see definition above) how to properly behave through positive reinforcement training, which includes confidence, patience, consistency, love and respect. Oh and the occasional low calorie (that one’s for you SlimDoggy) treat.
Thank you, Beth, of Terrier Torrent, for sharing The Daily Mutt’s comic.
Here are a couple of great books that also use the term “pack”…
Leader of the Pack, Nancy Baer and Steve Duno
Review from Amazon “It helped us realize that we had been unknowingly giving our dog the message that she was the leader of our pack. When we assumed leadership positions she not only behaved better, she seemed relieved that she no longer had to fill a role that she did not want. She is now a relaxed, obedient dog that we have grown to love and cherish more and more. Most wonderful of all she no longer displays aggression towards other dogs.”
How to be the Leader of the Pack…And have Your Dog Love You For It, Patricia B. McConnell, Ph.D.
Review from Amazon “Patricia’s dog training classes teaches us that 99.9% of dog training consists of training the human, not the dog. Patricia teachs us how although we may be animals, the messages we send to our best friends are much different. Patricia teaches us the value of the 1-word command, and the usage of positive, rewards-based training. This book is more than just a training book it provides valuable insight into the way dogs think. You will be amazed at how much your pet can learn when you start speaking their language!”
I would love to hear your thoughts on the terms I defined, my definitions, and any experience you’ve had with these terms.
February 19, 2013 at 8:50 am
Wow, that’s a lot deeper than I ever thought of the term. In doing my research before getting our dog, the terms of alpha and pack just seems benign to me. It simply made it clear to me that it was necessary for us to set boundaries and be consistant, just as a parent would. Just as we teach our daughter to let older ones go ahead of her or let her know if we’re displeased with some form of negative behavior (pulling, screaming, kicking/hitting), we do the same with our pup. None of this involves any kind of physical or verbal abuse or even demeaning treatment. Clear guidelines provide security and show proof that the parent is keenly interested in the child’s well-being now and in the future.
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TerriAnn recently published..Easy 20-Minute Pesto Salmon Recipe w/ Roasted Asparagus
Twitter: cookiesANDclogs
February 19, 2013 at 9:45 am
And I think your perception of the terms is something that is shared by many dog lovers. I think some pet professionals get spun up by the term, because they see dog owners trying to pin their dogs in a badly done Alpha roll over and now react to all these terms as if we’re trying to raise our dogs as wolves. We know that they’re domesticated pets and anyone reading my blog would see that our dogs are ridiculously spoiled and I’m a proponent of positive reinforcement training.
I think there’s room for a positive perception of the terms.
I hope you’re pup is doing well, Terri
Twitter: thefurmom
February 19, 2013 at 9:54 am
She’s doing quite well, thanks
I’ve been meaning to write an update post 
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TerriAnn recently published..Easy 20-Minute Pesto Salmon Recipe w/ Roasted Asparagus
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February 19, 2013 at 10:03 am
Good to hear it! Our Sydney’s arthritis is getting worse and we’ve had to change her supplements this weekend and it made me think of you.
Twitter: thefurmom
February 19, 2013 at 9:08 am
I have read all of Cesar Millano’s books about being the pack leader and fully believe that the human needs to be confident and in charge of their ‘pack’ meaning group of animals living together. My ‘pack’ includes 4 dogs and 6 cats. The cats are treated as part of the pack and just like the dogs there is a totem pole of whose on top after myself. With what I have learned from reading these books I can walk all 4 dogs together (one off leash with several of the cats following behind us in a line). I think the idea of a pack and treating the dogs like a pack have changed over the years – 20 years ago it was all about pinning the dog which I no longer believe in. I look forward to reading the two books you suggested and learning even more.
February 19, 2013 at 9:43 am
Thanks for stopping by, Holly
I think what you said about “20 years ago” is so spot on, because these terms did hold a different meaning 20 years ago. When I was a kid (more than 20 years ago) we raised dogs in a way that was completely normal, but I wouldn’t dare do today. It’s all about education and evolution. We’re evolving into much better dog owners and that makes these terms evolve too.
Kimberly
Twitter: thefurmom
February 19, 2013 at 9:21 am
I guess i’ve been watching too much Cesar Milan, because I always refer to myself as the leader of the pack with regard to the dog and who’s the boss in the house..
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Even if “pack” is technically incorrect, unless you are writing a definition of the term, I wouldn’t let one or two grammar-nazi’s change the way you write, especially since literally 100% of the people that read your blog probably know exactly what you mean when you say it.
Rand B. Wilson recently published..Another Paypal Customer Gets His Money Back
February 19, 2013 at 9:42 am
You’re very right, Rand. It’s an interesting subject for me, because after all these years and so much education, people do get spun up when they hear these words. I appreciate their passion, but for some, they’re not taking the time to look at the context; they’re just assuming that we mean the worst.
I love the terms.
Twitter: thefurmom
February 19, 2013 at 9:46 am
The offended party would hate to read my blog on “backPACKS” and how they are so appropriately named because they in fact are “packs” that attach to ones “back”.
At some point words just have to mean what they mean and we have to stop dissecting every little thing because Google makes us “smarter”. Thank you Kim G. For standing up in the face of PC tyranny!
Twitter: beantownahhh
February 19, 2013 at 9:51 am
Thanks, Chris
I’m so over PC it’s not even funny. I truly think it keeps us from exploring new ideas or having honest, respectful debates, because everyone is afraid of being labeled a racist, sexist, a liberal, or conservative, or just plain stupid. I had a woman question my religious faith, because I admited to being pro-life, but also respecting a woman’s right to choose – apparently you can’t be both.
PC had prevented us from taking a step back and seeing things from various points of view. I love what you said; we do have to stop dissecting everything. The best things I’ve learned have been based on conversations with people coming from a different POV.
Kimberly
Twitter: thefurmom
February 19, 2013 at 9:52 am
Hmmm, this had me thinking and my initial reaction was: “dude, chilax, who cares if someone calls their family a pack. That’s what I call mine and it includes 3 humans, 1 dog, and 2 cats”.
But then, I could sort of understand where he was coming from. I guess a little sensitive when people refer to any running race as a marathon (only 26.2 miles constitute a marathon) and I have some Physics teacher friends that get annoyed by people using the terms meteor, meteorite, and asteroid interchangeably.
So, my point is I am going get over my sensitivities and not feel the need to correct people that call their 10K a marathon
February 19, 2013 at 10:05 am
Great point, Marian
I correct people in my head when they say who instead of whom, done instead of finished, mad instead of angry, or good instead of well. It’s left over from my 4th or 5th grade english teacher. And I didn’t know that about marathons; I could totally see myself calling a 5k a marathon. When I walked the dogs 4 miles yesterday, I felt like it was a marathon. It was just a walk. LOL
Twitter: thefurmom
February 19, 2013 at 10:50 am
A little to PC for my tastes, but I guess if you’re a dog person dedicated to alleviating common misconceptions out there (like pittie owners) then maybe I understand their point. I, like the rest of your commenters, regularly refer to the family as the pack and use the word alpha to mean the one in charge. I do think dogs need that structure, at least my dogs do. SlimDoggy was pretty out of control when we first got him – no surprise after living in a shelter for a year. But within a few days, as soon as he understood that I was the one in charge (and controlled the food) then he became totally on board with it. The change in his demeanor was amazing…from hyperalert, hyperactive, just plain HYPER to just kind of this laid-back…’okay, whatever you say mom’ attitude. The words we use are not meant to be negative, but maybe we have watched too much Cesar too!
PS. Thanks for the shout out! Low-cal treats are the best!
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SlimDoggy recently published..Cross-Breed to Avoid Inbreeding
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February 20, 2013 at 6:55 am
My absolute pleasure for the shout out!
I have to admit that I’ve had to bite my tongue when people have said things that considered wrong, but then I ask myself, are they really wrong. It all comes down to context. We are just too PC as a society and it puts up walls, preventing us from having healthy discussions when we can only see one side of the coin.
Thanks for stopping by!
Twitter: thefurmom
February 19, 2013 at 11:11 am
I just know that my breed is a pack breed, we hunt and travel in packs and do not like to be alone, so that pack thing may be different with different breeds. Alpha should be mom but I try to take on that job as much as I can
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emma recently published..Chatting With Katie | GBGV | Monday Mischief
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February 20, 2013 at 6:53 am
Sounds like our house
I love watching our dogs hunt a mouse or rabbit – not to harm, but to play. The critters never see it that way though.
Twitter: thefurmom
February 19, 2013 at 12:11 pm
Keep in mind that people can find the smallest of things offensive. Personally, I don’t have a problem with the word “pack,” but I have to say that I do like how you defined it. One can be a leader of a pack while still showing love and compassion!
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Deb recently published..Chihuahua Puppies and Health
February 20, 2013 at 6:53 am
You are so right, Deb
Twitter: thefurmom
February 19, 2013 at 1:35 pm
I use “pack” the same way you do…casually and not technically…but I’ve seen similar discussions a lot lately and it appears to be a hot button issue these days. Current research seems to be changing long-held attitudes about dogs as pack animals.I just finished reading “Merle’s Door” and the author spends quite a bit of time talking about the very same thing. I do think some folks are just too sensitive and the need to urge others to comply with one’s “politically correct” concepts would be better curtailed
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Gizmo ( recently published..Tribute to a Duck, His Typist and Handmade Jewelry
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February 19, 2013 at 4:58 pm
Completely agree!
Twitter: thefurmom
February 19, 2013 at 4:15 pm
You’re better than me cause I would have told them to stuff it. Someone mentioned earlier, some people will be offended by the smallest things. I block those out of my life cause of its not one thing, they’ll find another. Good luck!
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Pibbles & Me recently published..Not Much Happening
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February 20, 2013 at 6:45 am
LOL – I’ve learned to delete the completely ridiculous comments and emails; people who are attacking me just to be mean. I saw this one as an attempt to give someone a different POV on the subject. I’m starting to learn that some people aren’t willing to see any POV besides their own, which is their choice. But when you email a blogger, you have to know that you’ll end up in a blog post
Twitter: thefurmom
February 20, 2013 at 6:49 am
LMAO I love that “But when you email a blogger, you have to know that you’ll end up in a blog post”!
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Pibbles & Me recently published..Not Much Happening
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February 19, 2013 at 4:47 pm
I find nothing wrong with calling your “crew” a “pack”. I agree, some people are just so picky and can’t keep thier mouths shut. I don’t use the word pack, I call my dogs my babies. I’m sure some mother out there would take great offense that I am relating my 180lb drooly dog to her precious baby. While I don’t make it a habit to insult people or irritate them, in a case like this I would have no problem hitting the delete message button and not giving it a second thought!
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February 20, 2013 at 6:44 am
That’s what I’m waiting for, a mom to come to me and say dogs aren’t the same as babies. But what’s funny is that every mom has been totally supportive of my term Fur Mom, because I am their mom.
Twitter: thefurmom
February 19, 2013 at 9:34 pm
We use the term pack all the time. We use it when we’re talking about “all of us”. Going out for walks is our “pack activity.” For us it simply means all members of our social group – people plus dogs.
Social structure of dogs only would still be a pack. Just like herd of sheep, flock of birds … I don’t see anything wrong with that.
We don’t really use the word alpha for anything, but JD certainly is submissive to Jasmine who runs things. She runs the bipeds too. We typically refer to her as “her majesty,” though.
I think that the word alpha is problematic because of the connotations that developed over time. Bottom line, though, if any group, somebody has to be the boss. Somebody has to decide on the rules, whatever one wants to call it.
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Jana Rade recently published..Positive Update, Though Little Clarity
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February 20, 2013 at 6:43 am
Exactly, Jana
I think we have to combine the word with the actions to determine if it’s bad or not. When I use the word Alpha, it’s in jest; it’s not a precursor to me abusing our dogs to prove that I’m boss. That’s completely unnecessary. Although I appreciate this trainer’s attempt to educate and the inspiration for this blog post (smile), I think his energy is better spent educating people who are confused or misinformed about dogs and dog training.
Twitter: thefurmom
February 19, 2013 at 10:00 pm
Wow, that’s pretty interesting. I had no idea that people would actually take offense to that term? I realize some people use it when they’re talking about training or behavior, but I totally understand when people are using it the way you are. Your response to his email had me laughing!
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Ann Paws recently published..Know Your Dog’s Nose
February 20, 2013 at 6:41 am
LOL – I always try to see the humor in every interaction. I never did hear back from him, but I didn’t think I would. He was a lot nicer than the last person who emailed me about the use of Pack and Alpha, so I appreciate that
Twitter: thefurmom
February 20, 2013 at 1:52 am
I really had to laugh. There are people everywhere who wants to correct you and sometimes I think they just search for error because they are bored. Correcting is often welcome but sometimes it goes too far. I liked you reply to the person. It´s how I would have replied.
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February 20, 2013 at 6:40 am
Thanks, Dennis – I always try to respect someone’s point of view and I get that he was trying to be helpful and educate me on a topic, but I think he missed the context; if I were stating a fact about pack animals, then I can understand the email, but for me to just be referring to my family as a pack, it just seemed out of place. The trainers who have emailed me about this topic in the past have dealt with a lot of people who have had misconceptions about dogs and they have a knee jerk reaction to these terms.
Thanks for stopping by!
Twitter: thefurmom
February 20, 2013 at 4:13 am
I like the way you think! I’ve never heard of it as a derogatory term or as having anything other than a positive meaning, but I like the idea of redefining things to make them more applicable to your situation! You really made me think this morning.
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February 20, 2013 at 6:36 am
Cool! Thanks so much!
Twitter: thefurmom
February 20, 2013 at 7:59 am
Kimberly, I can’t think of a single word to add…your article is so well thought out, so well researched, and so logical…Everyone is entitled to their opinions, of course, but I like the way you took a potentially snarky situation and turned it into an educational experience. Kudos!
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February 20, 2013 at 10:01 am
Thanks, Deena – grinning from ear to ear right now
Twitter: thefurmom
February 20, 2013 at 8:35 am
The term “pack leader” does make me cringe a little due to the connotations in current dog pop culture. As does the word “alpha”. But just because I choose not to use these words myself does not mean I will be offended if others do. I understand that the meanings you attribute to them are different than the meanings dominance-based training terminology applies.
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February 20, 2013 at 10:01 am
Glad to hear it, Kristine! I thought of you when I was writing, because I know you have strong beliefs about the alpha style of dog training. I think many of us do, but it’s simply not something that comes to mind when we use these terms unless that’s specifically what we’re referring to. I cringe a bit when dog owner in my city uses these terms, because he’s a moron and buys into it. Now I avoid him at all costs and he is very aware of my dislike and disapproval of him.
Thanks for stopping by!
Twitter: thefurmom
February 20, 2013 at 9:07 am
If you read enough dog blogs, you’ll find a controversy for just about every dog-related topic: what to feed them, what to call them, how you play with them, how to walk them. It’s all a bit much. Everyone seems to want to put on their “judgy pants” and tell other people they are doing it wrong. I applaud your having an open discussion about it. I sometimes refer to our family as a pack, but generally we just laughingly refer to our “unit”. Our familial unit = me, the hubs, the dog. The Unit. That’s us.
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February 20, 2013 at 9:59 am
I’m childish so I giggled a lot at “the unit.” I feel the same way; when I started my first pet blog, I had to stop, because I didn’t have think enough skin to stand up for my writing. Today, I can do it without being angry. Thanks for stopping by!
Twitter: thefurmom
February 20, 2013 at 10:39 am
A bit off the subject, but the ‘unit’ made me smile – my girlfriend calls her husband “the spousal unit” (it’s said with a bit of snark).
February 20, 2013 at 1:47 pm
I know. I was giggling too. LOL
Twitter: thefurmom
February 20, 2013 at 10:19 am
The only things two dog trainers usually agree on is that there is a dog involved in the process!
With that being said, this was a GREAT article!! I love the way you addressed the email you received and the definitions you chose to share with all of us readers of Keep The Tail Wagging.
I tend to have some rather opinionated views…*surprise surprise*….and this subject is no exception. There are some currents amongst contemporary dog trainers to find something “different” and “against the grain” in effort to stand out. I feel that many are attacking the terms “pack” and “alpha” simply as a way of differentiating themselves from others as a business strategy.
Unfortunately, this creates mass confusion amongst the volumes of dog owners seeking to learn more about their 4 legged family members in efforts to improve their relationships.
Again, GREAT ARTICLE!! I like your definitions!
KD
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KD Mathews recently published..Methods, philosophies, tools, etc…
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February 20, 2013 at 1:48 pm
Ahhh, thank you. I had a lot of fun writing this one
Twitter: thefurmom
February 20, 2013 at 10:33 am
I never considered them derogatory terms either, nor have I heard them used as such. In our family, alpha is the person Huffle loves most which is clear from his behavior, though he certainly behaves just about as well for non-”alpha” people. We are his “pack”: he is most comfortable in our company, doesn’t like eating without us around or when we’re not eating, and is happiest when his pack returns home if we’ve been out without him.
That’s how I hear it being used by other furparents as well.
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February 20, 2013 at 1:48 pm
I can totally relate to what you’re saying!
Twitter: thefurmom
February 21, 2013 at 4:40 am
“Pack” “Alpha” “Dominant” all make me cringe. Probably because there’s so many people who only know these words because of watching a certain “trainer” on t.v. They’ve just been so mis-used and twisted. I just try to avoid them at all costs :/
It would be nice if they were re-defined!
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Rebecca recently published..Decisions, Decisions. . . Choosing the Right Dog Walker!
Twitter: thephillydog
February 21, 2013 at 5:36 am
When people use these terms out of ignorance, misunderstanding the history and training of dogs, then it’s a fantastic opportunity to turn them on to a new idea. I recommend books and blogs. But I don’t like it when people use these terms in an innocent context and they’re criticized for it or that people are afraid to use them, because they don’t want to be attacked. I think the people who attack others for using these terms are just as ignorant as the people who use the terms incorrectly.
That’s why I have an issue with political correctness; it makes people afraid to use terms. I had a woman refer to a trainer as “black” and then apologize to me for using the word. It’s gone to far when we’re afraid to use words that are harmless.
Twitter: thefurmom